Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That
Sunday, 8 October 2017
active,
dating,
healthy living,
lose weight,
self confidence,
self-love,
Weight Loss
Edit
Title : Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That
link : Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That
If you’re holding off on dating until you’ve lost the weight,
bought better clothes, or are a brilliant future version of
yourself, you’ve set the worst goal ever. Because it’s not a goal.
It’s a slippery slope defined by — what? An arbitrary number on
the scale? The day your bangs grow out? Until you’ve achieved
an unassailable state of self-love?
In the immortal words of Sweet Brown, ain’t nobody got
time for that.
You’re not an Apple product set to launch sometime next year.
You may think you’ll be shinier, cooler, or more desirable in the
future, but really what you’re saying is that you don’t think
anyone could like you now. You think you’re planning. But you’re
really just procrastinating.
A woman named Jen wrote to ask me if she should stop dating
until she achieved her goal weight. She was admittedly on the
heavy side but had never kept it a secret or masked it in her
online profile. She didn’t mince words, and neither did some
of her respondents. She got some messages and went on a few
dates, but a few of the men she met would be more interested,
they said, if she’d been a few pounds lighter.
I’m sure that wasn’t easy to hear. In fact, ouch. She was ready to quit
until she could wear a size 6. She was already taking strides to live
healthier, and she figured she’d just... wait.
But I told her no. Here’s why: Because if she waited for this, she’d likely
come up with another excuse later for deferring. I reminded her that
there is no set height and weight requirement here. It’s dating. Not
the fucking Rockettes.
Does that mean she should abandon her weight loss goal? Nope. But her
efforts to change her life and body are not mutually exclusive from efforts
to meet people, nor do they have to be sequential.
In other words, there is no official start date. Dating is
a process and it’s ongoing, and there’s no better time
to start than now. No matter what size you are.
The idea that you should “work on yourself” before you
start dating is what I call living in the future perfect tense.
Tense being the operative word here. This notion that
you’ll be perfect in the future is crazy — and confers a ton
of pressure on you to be the perfect weight, to look a
certain way, before you endeavor to connect with another
person.
Then, when the Future Perfect You — ideal weight, great
haircut, designer jeans — steps out for the first time and
gets rejected (which happens to EVERYONE, by the way),
what then? It’ll hurt even more because you’ll think, “If no
one wants me now, after all this, how could anyone ever?”
My advice to Jen was to keep doing what she was doing:
Staying active, eating well, and reaching out, setting up
dates, meeting people wherever she goes. The best
relationships in the world must grow and evolve — they
don’t start and remain perfect. The same goes for you
and your relationship with yourself. Embrace the process
of growth and change with a forgiving spirit and you set
the stage not just for personal satisfaction, but for the
kind of intimate relationship that can evolve along with you.
Source
Such is the article Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That
Okey enough for article Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That today, hopefully can benefit for you all. okay, see you in other article posting.
You are now reading the article Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That with the link address https://lifemetips.blogspot.com/2017/10/lose-weight-before-you-date-aint-nobody.html